I just started taking a watercolor class – learning the basics: how to hold the brush, load color and control water content. I have my sketchbook, where I’m supposed to dutifully practice, which I happily do. I love the meditative nature of painting and the nuances of color.
What I have also realized is that I also love (and constantly fall into) the trap of premature judgment. After my first few attempts at putting down color, my inner elementary school teacher started handing out the report cards – “not so good”, “splotchy colors”, “lines could be more precise”, “not sure this could be considered art or ever be frameable”.
This, of course, is the exact opposite of why one has a sketch journal- to practice, to learn, to make mistakes,
Judging has become a favorite sport. Whether it’s our own progress or someone else’s journey, we’re quick to slap on the labels and jump to conclusions. I asked a dear friend to my studio to check out what I was learning – her first comment: “These are pretty good!” (OK, decent judgment, but still judgment).
It is constant work recognizing this pattern in myself, which keeps coming up. I have to deliberately take a deep breath and remind myself that this is just the beginning of the process of learning. And when I do, I calm right down… which means, paradoxically, I free up head space to be more in the flow and look at my work curiously and carefully, to understand what to do next and to think about whether I even need to change something. Add color? Take away color or lines? I really sit with the process and am able to unlock potential in what I am doing that I would most likely have missed while I was busy judging.
With all the rapid changes in the world, we all have to become better learners. Deeper learners. Faster learners. This means resist the inclination to rush to judgment, both of ourselves and others so that, in our fast-paced environment where instant results often take precedence, we risk sacrifice the vital process of patient experimentation and deep learning.
Judging seeps into the fabric of our lives, dictating how we navigate challenges and pursue ambitions. When we fixate on instant perfection, we forsake the opportunity for getting to the heart of things where insight and lightning ideas have space to suddenly appear. Judgment free.
In today’s discourse on resilience and grit, we often portray them as robust and vocal qualities. However, painting has shown me that they can also be quiet and internal.
As any seasoned Indian cook would attest, one cannot judge a curry based solely on the first step of having chopped onions, garlic, and ginger. It’s the culmination of meticulous layering, seasoning adjustments, and patience that yield a harmonious blend of flavors.
I’m looking forward to getting better at enjoying watching, quietly, how to become better friends with watching and observing my work. And please don’t judge my art work.
